you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
