Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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