My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
