shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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