I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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