I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize