"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
