my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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