yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
