WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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