I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
