White coat. Heels.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
