i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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