Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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