totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
