I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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