worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
