i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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