She said her name was "party"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
