Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
