Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden

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(586): View more from Michigan

I wish my penis had an off switch

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(571): View more from Virginia

i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.

(570): View more from Pennsylvania

so you made the shocked face and they caught you.

(571): View more from Virginia

yup.

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(970): View more from Colorado

in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...

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(703): View more from Virginia

then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.

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(480): View more from Arizona

this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.

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(416): View more from Toronto

She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say

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(512): View more from Texas

There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.

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