If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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