Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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