I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
