Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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