I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
