sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Randomize
