her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Michael Bay diarrhea
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
