hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
