Can Purell be used as lube?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
