I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
