It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
