that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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