If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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