it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
