My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
