i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
