Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
