I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
