Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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