would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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