Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
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