It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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