i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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