weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
