Screwed.edu
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
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