I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
