You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
