try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
