You just made me feel so damn special
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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