I think im going to throw up on grandma
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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