like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
