Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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