i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you will always have a special place in my vag
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
