Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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