fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
