Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
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