so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
