Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
