I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
