I can feel you judging me through the phone.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
