CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
