the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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