we made out on top of his cat.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
